sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
