who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize