Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
