Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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