Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
