Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
