It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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