he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
