dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
