I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
be right there i have to get my cape
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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