One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i love accidental penises.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
