I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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