I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
high people should be assigned attendants
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
