I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Life is so much better after having sex.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
