Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
