This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize