Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
