I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
