So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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