i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
