with your own penis?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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