A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
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