just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
