I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
