So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
my nose is crying tears of wow.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
