I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
