I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize