oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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