he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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