come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
