We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
