so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
