just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
