Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm like, not good at living.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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