he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
