I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize