he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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