I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
