I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
