what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
