You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
