let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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