Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
