I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
