I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
