Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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