I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Randomize
