A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
