great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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