I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
