I wanna passion pit in your ass
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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