It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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