I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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