I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
