Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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