im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
