i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
