i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
