Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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