Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
