ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
