Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize