He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
