speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
