Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
