Sry I called you an 8
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
