ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
this is an emotional support booty call
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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