I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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