then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
