Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
3 2 1 whiskey
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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