i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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